Mr. Rogers Had It Right
As we wind down 2025 in a flurry of terrible-to-worse news I can’t bear to regurgitate here, I’ve been trying not to let it all get me down, to zoom in rather than zoom out, to focus on my family and friends instead of the wider world I can’t control. To pay attention to the good things happening instead of just the bad. And to find small moments of humor in the day-to-day, like the cleverly named, search-engine-optimized restaurant I passed recently as my taxi raced down Second Avenue: Thai Food Near Me. As it turns out, with its solid 4.4 star Yelp rating, Thai Food Near Me would have been a much better choice for lunch that day than the mediocre wrap I’d grabbed from the deli at the corner.
With the holiday season upon us, I’ve also been trying to channel the advice Fred Rogers of Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood famously received from his mother as a young boy when frightened by a scary story on the news: “look for the helpers.” In a sad reflection of the state of our world, that advice, obviously intended for children, has been so overused, it’s become controversial, a cliché and meme that pops up after every terrorist attack or mass shooting or other national tragedy. The overuse has gotten so bad some commentators have felt compelled to point out that, for adults, looking for the helpers is not enough—we have to be the helpers.
I get their point; “look for the helpers” sounds simplistic and naïve. But I think the critique misses the reason why Mr. Rogers’ advice resonates with so many people. Of course, adults should be the helpers. We should make the donations and march in the protests and volunteer our time and support the candidates whose policies reflect our values. However, for most people, the brutal reality is that there’s only so much they can personally do to provide direct aid to, say, victims of the Trump Administration’s illegal and inhumane immigration policies or the many, many people struggling to make ends meet in the current economy. And even if they’re doing what they can—even if they’re doing a lot—it’s comforting to see other people helping too. As the old adage goes, there’s safety in numbers. And when the world is in chaos, adults need comfort too.
Each year I draw inspiration from our family friend John Russo, who not only solicits donations from people he knows, but then purchases, wraps, and distributes hoodies, toiletries and other gifts to needy students in the Brooklyn high school where he teaches, their own personal Santa Claus.
And walking down Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn a few days ago, I saw a sign in the window of a local bagel store offering coats and hats as well as warm food and drinks to anyone in need. “Nobody turned away.”
Nobody turned away.
A declaration that lifts the spirits no matter how devastating the recent headlines. A generous sentiment that captures what’s supposed to be the meaning of the season. And an important reminder that kindness and empathy still exist. So, keep looking for the helpers, big and small. Hopefully, they’ll not only amaze and console you, they’ll fuel your motivation to keep helping too.